God-forsaken

when i was bed-ridden and unable to walk sometime in this year
i realized how important walking is..
after the accident, my right leg swelled to double its original size
and the swelling caused my skin to stretched and my toes couldn't touch the floor when i stepped down
the pain x payah cakap la
when you have lied down for a while and you wanted to get up,
blood circulated downward through the severed arteries
it would make you scream for your mom in an uncivilised manner

i was on crutches for a month and i fell 4times
twice on my way to the bathroom
once when i was getting out off the car
and once at a restaurant i went after getting my dressing changed
slippery
imbalance
uneven ground
everything was an obstacle to even move for an inch

when i fell
i felt a sudden air of frustration
i was frustrated that i couldn't even go to the bathroom without help
i felt useless
totally useless
for the fact that i couldn't walk
an ability that i did not even think about before

tears weren't enough to get rid of that overwhelming feeling

for a person who love to run and jump around
there were times i closed my eyes and wished it all to be just dreams

when you couldn't do things that were natural to you..
you'd feel the emptiness
you'd feel the fear
fear of not have lived to the fullest before
you'd also feel the insecurities

it was time i knew
i have to treasure everything
even the tiniest littlest thing in my life
if i don't start now
God knows when i will lose another precious possessions of mine