most wanted list topspot: DETERMINATION

I'm not sure of the reasons but starting a blog has been a real drag for me. Each blog I wrote went under construction after few postings and haven't been able to recover. There are so many things in my otak but still I find it hard to pour them out into words. And to think that I used to be great in pouring my isi otak in high school essays, its baffling. Funny how abilities and talents can fade if we do not brush em up from time to time. Just like me and debating. 10 years ago, debating is my territory. I came and I conquered. And on centerstage, my three opposition members always appeared as the three blind mice that were crossing my path. That was the idea told by Ms Rozie, my first fav eng teacher (miss you!). POIs were nothing, really.
I'm not ashamed of exaggerating because those were the my gloriest moments.

But after some time - which included losing, losing again, adolescent, poor time management, BFF, en.Zul the warden, en.Kamil the father, t.Mard being t.Mard, love crushes, obesity (which stays permanent) - all the dramas that can possibly happen in a girl's life, I now stand with fear if i were to be asked to debate again.

And now my writing wiring is short-circuited. There's malas somewhere, and a little usaha here and there, and an absolute conscious about what people are gonna think bout what i write.But blogging seems therapeutic. And by acknowledging how chaotic my life is currently, i really need all the therapy i can get. I mean, not that many will actually read them though.

So here goes another try (fingers crossed)..